How To Get Yourself A Snuggle-Buddy For Winter

snuggle-buddyWinter is coming very soon and there’s nothing better than having someone to keep you warm through the cold nights.

If you’re single but looking for your big spoon, then you’re in luck. I’ve laid out a few fool-proof tactics to land you that guy or gal you’ve got your sights set on.


1) Carve your name and number into a potato and roll it towards them on the train.

2) Rear end them with your car. Now you’ve got their number and home address.

3) File a restraining order against them. They’ll be confused but also intrigued because people love when you play hard to get.

4) Do your best to run into them at their favorite hang outs. The harder and faster you run into them, the more disoriented they’ll be and more likely to agree to a date because they’ll probably have a concussion.

5) If they have a dog, wait til they walk by you with it, stop to tie your shoe while they’re turned away and hook another leash onto the pup. Now you’ve got a great icebreaker: “Oh my god! Look, we have the exact same dog.”

6) If you meet them at the bar, when they offer to buy you a drink and ask what you’d like, casually reply “the blood of my enemies”. This way they know you are powerful, and nothing is sexier than power.

7) If you do land a date, keep them engaged by asking fun questions like “Have you ever been a hat person?”, “What’s your honest opinion on kale?”, “If you could be one kind of fungus, which one would you pick?”.

8) If all else fails, ask out your Uber driver. They already know where you live.

There ya have it. I can feel your success already. Look at you go. Enjoy your new snuggle-buddy!


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